


I (Still) Think About You

by Mariiie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kim Jongin | Kai - Freeform, Original Character(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 16:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7229977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariiie/pseuds/Mariiie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin knew she was scared of heights, and it was one of the main reason he was bringing her up the wheel.</p>
<p>They were waiting in line and Jongin wrapped his arms around her petite frame, keeping her close and resting his head on the top of hers. Na In shivered at the cold wind, looking at the other attractions around the place, clearly avoiding to look at what they were waiting in line for. Jongin noticed and smiled, pecking her head.</p>
<p>‘’Don’t worry, jagiya, I’ll be there to protect you!’’ He whispered and she couldn’t help but smile, turning over to watch his handsome features. As it always did, her heart skipped a beat as their eyes locked and her smile widened. ‘’I’ll never be able to say no to you, will I?’’ She teased, and Jongin could only laugh, leaning down to capture her lips in a soft, innocent kiss.</p>
<p>‘’Of course not, jagiya. But you love me, so it’s all okay.’’</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Jongin has been separated from the love of his life for six years. During six years he has tried to move on and open his heart to someone else, but when he meets her again, he knows he has to get her back, no matter what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I (Still) Think About You

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot is inspired by the song I Think About You by One More Chance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX1egDLERjY).
> 
> Thank you for checking it out and I hope you'll enjoy it just as much as I loved writing it!

**I (still) Think About You**

* * *

  
  


_ ‘’Na In-ah! Let’s go on this ride!’’ _

 

_ ‘’Jongin are you crazy? I’m definitely not going into this!’’ _

 

_ It only took Jongin a few more ‘convincing’ arguments to get his girlfriend, Son Na In, to get in with him in the not even scary ride. It was one basic Ferris wheel that illuminated through the night with its rainbow lights. _

 

_ It was the night of their one year anniversary. It was in the middle of October and the air had started to get quite chilly, though not enough to stop the two lovers from having their celebration at the city’s fair. It was right beside the Han River, and the lights of the city illuminated the pitch black water, drawing some beautiful patterns through the waves. The night was simply perfect, just like their relationship. _

 

_ Jongin knew she was scared of heights, and it was one of the main reason he was bringing her up the wheel. _

 

_ They were waiting in line and Jongin wrapped his arms around her petite frame, keeping her close and resting his head on the top of hers. Na In shivered at the cold wind, looking at the other attractions around the place, clearly avoiding to look at what they were waiting in line for. Jongin noticed and smiled, pecking her head. _

 

_ ‘’Don’t worry, jagiya, I’ll be there to protect you!’’ He whispered and she couldn’t help but smile, turning over to watch his handsome features. As it always did, her heart skipped a beat as their eyes locked and her smile widened. ‘’I’ll never be able to say no to you, will I?’’ She teased, and Jongin could only laugh, leaning down to capture her lips in a soft, innocent kiss. _

 

_ ‘’Of course not, jagiya. But you love me, so it’s all okay.’’ _

 

_ *** _

 

_ It was their turn to go in one of the cabins and Na In got inside first, taking in a shaky breath as Jongin followed and they closed the cage. She immediately cuddled up to her boyfriend as he sat beside her, not much to his complaint. She was the cutest when she was nervous, and Jongin would lie if he said seeing her like this wasn’t one of the reasons he brought her to the wheel. _

 

_ Na In immediately yelped as the Ferris wheel started moving and she closed her eyes. Jongin saw her and frowned, immediately leaning down to caress her cheek gently. ‘’Hey, open your eyes, sweety, or you’re going to miss the view.’’ He said softly and shook her head quickly. Jongin frowned a bit, though soon found something and leaned closer until they were face to face. _

 

_ Na In felt Jongin’s breath fanning on her nose and she opened her eyes a bit to watch him. ‘’Yeah, look at me for a bit.’’ He whispered and she did just that, again losing herself into Jongin’s dark brown eyes. The lights from the night made them sparkle gold and she smiled, her body visibly relaxing. _

 

_ It was only when they got high enough to have a good view of the capital that the buildings caught her eyes and she couldn’t help but look, her fear being completely replaced by awe. ‘’Jongin! Look at the buildings! Look at the lights!’’ She beamed immediately, completely forgetting they were up in the sky and she shifted to get a better view. _

 

_ In front of her, the Han River stood, water reflecting the city in a whole other dimension, the lights dancing on its darkness. She looked up a bit to see the real capital standing in front of her, rising up to the sky. _

 

_ She turned her head to look on her side of the cabin, looking down to have a view of the fair, the other attractions and their lights, the people walking around so small from her point of view... _

 

_ Jongin smiled behind her, arms wrapping around her and he put his head on her shoulder. Na In took a hold of his hands and laughed. ‘’Jongin! I’m not scared anymore! Look at me, staring down at the people without even being scared of falling!’’ She told him before turning her head to stare at him. His eyes showed nothing more than pure happiness. _

 

_ He didn’t say anything, only moving closer to close the distance between them. They kissed as the wheel continued moving, and it seemed that the view had lost all its importance, only each other's presence being the thing that mattered. _

 

_ ‘’Happy first anniversary, jagiya. I love you, and I’ll always do.’’ _

 

***

**6 Years Later**

 

‘’But mommy! I wanted the chocolate one! You know I don’t like blueberries…’’

 

‘’Of course, you like blueberries, sweety, you always eat them all at home. Plus blueberries are good for you, way better than chocolate. You probably don’t want to end up with a fat belly, do you?’’

 

Na In sighed and let the boy choose their table. They sat down and he looked at his blueberry muffin with a pout before looking up at his mom with wide eyes. Of course, he didn’t want to end up with a fat belly! It didn’t take much more time before he gave up on his chocolate muffin and started eating, Na In watching him with caring eyes as she sipped on her coffee.

 

So many things changed since she finished school. Too many, even.

 

When she came back from her day dreaming, she focused her attention back on her boy and laughed a bit as she noticed the muffin all around his mouth. ‘’Hyung Innie, why are you making such a mess of yourself..’’ She thought out loud, a small smile making her lips curve as she wiped a napkin over her son’s mouth.

 

***

 

Jongin walked on the busy sidewalk of the streets of Seoul, coat up to his neck to hide from the cold wind. They were only in September yet it felt like winter had already started to hit them with its coldness. It was barely 8am, so everyone kept rushing around and he had difficulty making his way through everyone without ending up bumping his shoulder on someone.

 

So many things changed since he finished school. Too many, even.

 

His journey ended once he stepped in front of a coffee place he usually stopped at before work and he went in, sighing as the noises from the city faded once the door closed behind him. He finally could breathe in fully again, fixing his hair before going to the cashier and order the usual.

 

He stood in front of the guy, checking the muffins displayed before ordering his coffee. ‘’Oh, and add me one of these blueberry muffins, too.’’ He said, paying quickly before leaning back on the counter and watching the other customers.

 

_ ‘’HyungInnie, why are you making such a mess of yourself..’’ _

 

Jongin instinctively turned his head at the familiar voice, though he only saw the back of a woman busy cleaning her boy’s face. His eyes lingered on her back, how her long dark hair rested on her upper back and shoulders. He continued staring and as if the woman felt his eyes on her, she turned her face and their eyes met.

 

For the both of them, time stopped for a moment. Neither of them moved nor looked away. They simply stared, old memories coming back to the surface. Old memories they both had tried so hard to forget. Old memories that involved just as much love as there was pain.

 

‘’Um.. Mister? Your order…’’ The young cashier poked Jongin’s shoulder, making him almost jump and he broke the eye contact, both of them roughly getting back to reality. He was quick to grab his little bag and coffee mug before turning around again.

 

_ She was still staring at him. _

 

Jongin needed all of his courage not to walk out of the store, instead heading right to her and in front of her table, the boy watching him and blinking in confusion. Na In looked up at him before quickly looking down. ‘’It’s been a while..’’ was the only thing that she could say and with that he sat down, watching her and hoping to get a glimpse of her eyes again.

 

_ Oh, how he had missed those eyes. _

 

‘’Mommy… Who’s that mister..?’’ The smaller boy asked, looking over at Jongin, who simply stared back and smiled a bit. ‘’I’m Kim Jongin, I’m uh… an old friend of your mom.’’ He mumbled, looking at Na In again who was still staring down at her hands. She smiled a bit when he said the word ‘friend’ and she looked up, trying to hide any emotion that was showing in her eyes.

 

Jongin stopped the urge to reach for her hand, staring up at her and his smile faded a bit. ‘’You haven’t changed much... ‘’ He whispered, but he immediately realized how wrong he was. The way she looked at him… of course, it had changed. Her appearance had changed, too. She was more feminine, more woman. Her facial features were tinner, and he started wondering if there wasn’t something that happened during these 6 years…

 

_ Well, of course, something happened.  _ He mumbled to himself, staring at the boy finishing his blueberry muffin. The boy seemed to be 3 or 4 years old. He looked exactly like his mom.

 

Na In frowned a bit, looking down and simply humming. The tension was getting thicker as the silence stayed, none of them knowing what to say.

 

Too many things changed since they finished school. Way too many.

 

Na In cleared her throat and stood, Jongin doing immediately the same after and they stared for another second before she hurried and helped the smaller boy stand too, removing the bits of muffin from his shirt before taking her mug. ‘’I should leave if I don’t want Hyung In to be late. I… guess I’ll see you another time?’’ She said, taking the boy’s hand in hers and sipping on her coffee. Jongin put his hands in his pocket, staring up at her and licking his dried lips before speaking. ‘’Would you… mind if I accompany you? I’d like to talk to you. You know… to catch up with what’s been going during these… years.’’

 

Na In clearly expected this, though she still hadn’t found the good words to speak. Jongin belonged to her past, and somehow she wanted it to stay this way. She parted her lips to speak, ready to say that they could do this another time maybe but only one word escaped her lips instead.

 

‘’Sure.’’

 

***

 

Hyung In received his peck on the cheek before hurrying to meet his friends passed the school’s gate. He waved shyly at Jongin, a small smile curving his lips before he turned and ran. The bell would ring soon, signaling it was time for them to go to class.

 

When the small boy was out of view, Na In sighed and turned around. She started walking home and Jongin simply followed behind her, both speechless. It stayed like this for a while, the atmosphere between them becoming thicker as the time passed before Jongin finally broke the silence.

 

‘’Your son.. He’s really beautiful. He looks like you.’’ He said, licking his lips again before looking down at her smaller figure again. She simply hummed in answer, looking in front of her. He knew she was purposely avoiding to look at him again, and it hurt him more than it should have.

 

‘’Your husband must be-’’

 

Jongin stopped mid-sentence, noticing how tensed Na In became once he spoke. She stopped in her track and he did the same, and when she finally turned her head to look up at him, he knew his words had been a mistake.

 

‘’Look, Jongin. I don’t think this whole meeting up thing was a good idea. I have my life, now, and so have you. We grew apart and I think that’s how it is meant to be. Please go home, or go to work, or go wherever you need to go. And I’ll do just the same.’’

 

These words went straight to Jongin’s heart, somehow making their way through it and they hurt more than he thought they would. His eyes searched in Na In’s, hoping to find in them something that showed she was lying, that she didn’t really want them to go their own ways again like they did 6 years ago…

 

Na In broke their eye contact, and without even saying anything she stepped in front of her again, ready to leave.

 

‘’Na In-ah! Wait!’’

 

Jongin hurried back to her, grabbing onto her arm lightly and she turned abruptly, staring at him and waiting for him to speak. Jongin opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. His eyes begged her to stay with him a little more, though, to give him another chance to speak up with her and catch up the time they had lost.

 

Na In saw it all in his eyes. She could still read him like she used too. She felt something break inside her and she gave up, sighing and looking away. ‘’I haven’t eaten anything yet, and I need another coffee.’’

 

It was the only thing Jongin needed to hear.

 

***

 

The two of them found themselves in another cafe near Hyung In’s school, and after ordering two other coffees and a small breakfast, they sat down in one of the place’s corner. Na In sipped on her coffee for a while, not yet knowing what to say. Jongin didn’t speak up either, only staring at her eyes. He used to be able to read through them, to be able to guess her emotions and thoughts, but there was something in her eyes at that moment that prevented him from doing so.

 

‘’So… Tell me about you. How have you been?’’ Na In finally spoke, putting her mug down on the table and resting her chin in her palm, eyes locked with Jongin’s. The other just stared back for a few seconds, trying to filter everything that had happened in the past few years, and honestly, he couldn’t find anything interesting to tell.

 

His life had been quite dull since he left college. He got a dull job a few months after he received his diploma, moved in a dull apartment filled with dull things. The neighborhood was just as dull, too. He had stayed single the whole time, every girl he met not quite up to his standards.

 

Every girl he met, they weren’t  _ her _ .

 

So Jongin told her exactly that, how he had found this job in a quite well-flourishing company, how he found an apartment when everything had settled into place, how this had been his life for the past few years since he hadn’t found anyone who could make his heart flutter just yet.

 

The latter information made everything become quite tense again, both of them falling quiet again. Na In took her time bringing the mug to her lips again, taking a few sips before putting it down again, closing her eyes before she spoke.

 

‘’I found a job in a school nearby, where I’ve been working since then. I… That’s where I met my husband. He.. used to work there, too. It all went by so quickly and after two years we got married. I got pregnant with Hyung In a little while after, everything was going great, really. We bought a small apartment near the school we were both working at. Then… ‘’

 

Na In stopped talking, sighing again and rubbing her forehead. She cursed at herself for opening so much. In the first place she hadn’t thought she would even tell a glimpse of her past to Jongin, but the looks he had given her, his presence near her, the way he listened to her, it all made her want to tell him everything that had happened since he was gone.

 

Jongin continued staring, not saying anything at all. He figured something had happened, not only because she seemed to have difficulty starting to speak again, but also because of how tensed she looked a while before when he had mentioned her husband.

 

‘’Cancer took him away from me last year. Since then I’ve been living with Hyung In on my own.’’

 

‘’I.. I-I’m sorry I-’’

 

Jongin was cut short by Na In shaking her head and standing up abruptly, fixing her hair and looking away. ‘’No, it’s fine, really. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t open up to you like this. You should have let me go earlier.’’ She mumbled, opening her eyes again and Jongin could tell they were wet with tears.

 

He stood quickly after her, and he was about to propose her to walk her back home but he was interrupted again. A faint ‘goodbye, Jongin’ made its way to his ears and with that she disappeared, and this time he didn’t even have the time to think about stopping her.

 

And she was gone, again, as quickly as she did back then.

 

***

 

Na In watched with a smile on her face as her son laughed and ran around the playground with some of his friends, the children’s yelling and screaming around almost entirely covering the sounds of the city. It had been a week or so since her encounter with Jongin and she was glad he didn’t insist anymore. She hadn’t seen him since then, and she intended not to anymore.

 

When the thought crossed her mind she tensed a bit and frowned. Her mind knew pretty well that seeing Jongin again was a no-no, but her heart was starting to remember how good it felt to have the other’s arms around her. It made it harder for her not to be bothered by the fact that she’d need not to see him at all anymore.

 

When her eyes met his again, at the coffee shop, it’s like every memory she had buried with her past came back to the surface, and when she left on the same day, she thought they would just go back to their forgotten state, but of course they didn’t. They stayed there, in the corner of her mind, keeping her awake at night and hoping that, when she’d turn in her bed, she’d see the face of her first love staring at her with his trademark smile.

 

Na In was brought back to reality a while later when she sensed someone leaning to sit on the bench beside her. She moved a bit, letting the person some more place and continued daydreaming and watching on Hyung In. It’s only a couple seconds later, feeling that eyes were on her, that she turned her head to look at the stranger sitting on the bench.

 

To say she was surprised by the man’s presence probably was a huge understatement. He was staring right back at her with no emotion at all on his face. Her eyes widened slightly and she stared back, not saying anything at all.

 

Jongin chuckled and looked over at the kids playing, leaning back on the bench and crossing his legs. ‘’I didn’t know I’d find you here, really. I wasn’t trying to find you.’’ He said, looking back at her and his smile completely faded. Na In knew, by the way he was looking at her, that he wasn’t lying.

 

Something moved in her stomach and she swallowed thickly, quickly looking away before nodding slowly. She gave herself a mental note to try not to look directly at Jongin’s eyes again. The man stared some more before moving a bit closer, to which Na In moved back, wanting to keep a safe distance between the two of them.

 

‘’Why are you avoiding me so much, Na In? Why do I scare you this much?’’ He asked, voice low and soft, so other people around them couldn’t hear. He moved even closer again, and this time, Na In was caught. She was already sitting at the edge of the bench, and standing up so abruptly would draw attention she didn’t want.

 

She stayed quiet, looking away. There were so many reasons that kept her from wanting to stay away from Jongin, but she couldn’t say them out loud. They weren’t reasons he wanted to hear, and of course, he would dismiss them. Her reasons, even to herself, sounded too dumb anyways.

 

Jongin sighed and looked down, moving again until there were only a few inches separating their two bodies. ‘’Six years, Na In. Six years have passed, and you still can’t stand me?’’ He asked, and this time, she couldn’t help but turn her head quickly, looking at him. She scoffed.

 

‘’Why should you even care anyways? You’re right, six years has passed. You had far from enough time to get over it and move on with your life, just like I did!’’ She said a bit louder than intended. She looked around, hoping no one heard and when she looked back at Jongin, the other had closed the distance between them, their nose almost touching. She gasped, not even able to move as she stared back at him, losing herself in his eyes.

 

‘’I care..’’ He whispered, and she could feel his breath fanning against her lips. ‘’..because I still love you.’’ He finished, staring back at her a few more seconds before closing his eyes and leaning forward to close the distance between them.

 

Jongin soon realized she had moved away since he kept moving forward and couldn’t even catch a glimpse of her lips. He opened his eyes again and looked up, Na In standing in front of him with wide eyes. She was holding onto her bag tightly and that’s when he knew he had fucked up.

 

‘’We’re over, Jongin. We were over six years ago and we still are, now. Now, please, don’t show up ever again.’’

 

With that, Na In walked away again, calling for Hyung In and hurrying him to say goodbye because they were going back home. After a few complaints from the small boy they left the park, and not once did she stare back at him as they walked away.

 

Jongin stayed on the bench, his eyes not leaving Na In’s figure until she was out of his range of view. He sighed and let his head fall in his hands, closing his eyes tightly and trying to get a hold of himself.

 

Na In still felt something for him, he was sure of it. She couldn’t possibly feel nothing everytime she stared back into her eyes. She couldn’t possibly feel nothing when he moved so close to kissing her again. For a few seconds, he started wondering if her lips still tasted the same as they used to, but he quickly pushed the thoughts away.

 

Yes, of course, she still loved him, but just how much did what happened during these six years prevented her from accepting it?

 

***

 

Na In hurried Hyung In to bed, sitting down on the edge of the mattress and fixing the blankets on him. The boy smiled at his mom and shifted a bit, making himself comfortable under his blankets. They both stared at each other for a while, Na In resting one of her hand on her son’s hair, caressing it gently.

 

‘’Mommy, did you see your friend Jongin again since you met him?’’ Hyung In asked suddenly, staring up at Na In and she frowned, her hand stopping her caressing movement.

 

‘’Why do you want to know about him?’’ She asked, tilting her head a bit and Hyung In shrugged. ‘’He looks nice.’’ He said, turning on his side and closing his eyes. ‘’He looked like he likes you a lot, too.’’ He added, yawning and opening his eyes again to look at his mom. ‘’Do you like him too?’’

 

Na In felt her throat tighten and she looked down at him, sighing. ‘’Goodnight, Hyung Innie.’’ She said simply, leaning down to peck his forehead before standing and closing the light from the nightstand. She walked toward the door, looking over at the boy again as he shifted. Na In was about to close the door when her son’s voice echoed in the room again.

 

‘’You know, it would be nice to invite him to play sometimes. You don’t have any guy friends that come over here, so maybe he could be a bit like my papa.’’

 

***

 

Na In went to her room after that, Jongin filling up her mind all over again. She went to shower, preparing herself to sleep, and not once did the man let her mind focus on something else. When she finally got in bed, she groaned and stared at the ceiling, cursing at herself over and over again. She couldn’t simply feel what she once felt all over again. Jongin was supposed to be buried along with the past. When her husband died, she promised herself she wouldn’t fall in love again, since it always ended up with her getting hurt in the end.

 

But now that Jongin was back, her heart didn’t want to hear about it. Her heart wanted him still, and she wouldn’t let it get its way.

 

***

 

Na In was back again sitting on one of the benches in the familiar park. It was a routine for both her and Hyung In, each two days, to go to that park, so he could play with his friends and release some of his extra energy before concentrating himself on his homework. She watched with a faint smile on her lips as the boys and girls played in the different structures displayed around the playground.

 

To say Jongin’s first love was haunting him again was a huge understatement. Na In was driving him crazy all over again, and the fact that she kept pushing him away even though he knew she still felt something for him made it all even worse. He wouldn’t say he started following her, but it often happened that he crossed her path and his eyes wouldn’t leave her. She seemed not to see him, or maybe she just didn’t want their eyes to meet. He started knowing more about her routine, and he couldn’t help but start and follow her, just so he could watch her and the way she acted. The way her lips curved whenever her eyes laid on her son. The way her eyes filled with curiosity every time she walked in front of any displays of some sort. The way she lived, simply. A part of him kept repeating himself that he was going crazy, that this wasn’t sane, that it was obsessiveness, even, but he just couldn’t help it. He seemed to have the same work schedule as Na In, so he started convincing himself it was only a coincidence if they seemed to follow the same path every day.

 

After a few days he started to know her path by heart, and so he found himself at the park as she watched Hyung In play, hidden somewhere out of her range of view so he could watch. His eyes lingered over her son for a while and he couldn’t help but smile. The boy was a copy of his mother. The way he moved around and laughed were oh so similar to his mother, and he couldn’t help but imagine her, six years ago, when she laughed at whatever dumb thing he said. Jongin smiled again, still staring at the boy, too lost in his thoughts to realize the smaller boy turned his head and their eyes met.

 

Hyung In’s face immediately lit up and he motioned the man to come over.

 

‘’Jongin, Jongin! Come and play with us!’’

 

The said male was brought back to the reality with the boy’s words, and for a second he froze, head immediately turning to Na In.

 

She was there, staring at him, and somehow the whole place seemed to slow down. They stared for what seemed like an eternity until Hyung In’s voice echoed in the park again and he was the one to break their eye contact, putting on a smile on his face and he ran.

 

Toward Hyung In, of course. Toward his only chance of getting Na In back.

 

***

 

Na In wished she had the strength to stand and tell Hyung In to go home, but the sparkle in the boy’s eyes told her otherwise. She had never seen him so enthusiastic as he ran around on the playground along with Jongin. Na In would have felt too guilty if she was to come and stop him from having his fun so she simply watched, her lips curving into a small smile as her eyes drifted toward Jongin’s figure. The older looked happy as well, laughing and smiling, his eyes forming the crescents that Na In used to lose herself in. Her smile quickly faded as she stopped herself from having such thoughts and she was quick to look away, deciding to report her attention elsewhere as the two boys had their fun.

 

‘’Mommy! Look who I found in the park!’’ She heard Hyung In call and she looked toward him again, noticing how the smaller boy was holding onto Jongin’s hand, dragging him to the bench on which she was seating. Na In swallowed thickly, finally letting herself look at Jongin again, who was already staring at her with a shy smile of his. She gave him a vague smile out of courtesy and stood, nodding at her son.

 

‘’That’s great, Hyung Innie, but we should go home now, so why don’t you say goodbye to Jongin?’’

 

‘’But mo~m! Can’t Jongin come and eat at home with us?’’ The boy asked, giving his mom a wide and begging smile.

 

Na In felt her heart being squished, biting her bottom lip and staring away, avoiding her son’s puppy eyes. She knew she wasn’t able to say no to Hyung In.

 

‘’Honey, I think it’s no-’’

 

‘’What about I bring you two out to the restaurant instead? I don’t want to bother you with having to make food for the three of us.’’ Jongin interrupted her, and the wide smile that appeared on Hyung In’s lips convinced Na In that, this time, she wouldn’t have a choice but to accept the offer. Her eyes met Jongin’s again and he was staring at her with a faint smile. Without much thoughts, she smiled back before looking down at her son and picking up their stuff.

 

‘’Alright, let’s go.’’

 

***

 

Jongin brought them up to a quite fancy restaurant -too fancy for Na In’s liking anyways, and even though she tried convincing him it wasn’t a good idea, she just couldn’t say no to the two boys, both begging her in their own ways. They ended up eating there, Hyung In chewing on his food happily, Jongin eating and staring up at Na In from time to time while she picked on her food until she couldn’t stand the awesome scent and ate it all, not without feeling guilty when the older man asked for the bill. She told herself she’d repay him once she’d have the chance and after a few more minutes in the restaurant they left the place, Hyung In happier than ever.

 

Na In watched as the two boys walked in front of her, talking about everything and nothing, laughing and joking around. She soon found herself smiling at the sight, impressed by how Jongin had caught the boy’s good side so quickly. She saw how he held onto Hyung In’s smaller hand every time they crossed a road, or how he took him on a piggy back ride when the boy complained his legs hurt. Na In couldn’t help but smile at all these little things and for a second she wondered how it would have been if Jongin had been Hyung In’s dad.

 

_ But he wasn’t. And Na In couldn’t come to the fact that he could replace her deceased husband…. not yet anyways. _

 

Hyung In led them to their apartment door and looked over at his mom who was following behind. She smiled back at him and motioned him to get in. ‘’Say goodbye to Jongin and go get ready to go to bed. Jongin has things to do, now, so he needs to go home as well.’’

 

Na In looked in Jongin’s direction when she finished speaking, noticing a glimpse of pain in his eyes. She dismissed it quickly and looked back at her son who simply pouted but obeyed anyways. He wished Jongin a good night, reaching to give the man a tight hug and thanking him for everything before going in to do what he needed to do. Once the door was closed again, the two left looked at each other, no words being spoken for a few seconds, only stares filling the atmosphere.

 

Na In was the first to look away and she sighed, leaning on the wall and rubbing her forehead. ‘’Why are you following us, Jongin?’’

 

The man was taken aback by Na In’s sudden question and he frowned, parting his lips to speak but the other spoke again.

 

‘’Do you think I haven’t noticed? Since we met you keep being at all the places at all the same times, Jongin! Wasn’t I clear enough last week when I told you I didn’t want you to come back in my life again?!’’ Na In’s words were only in a whisper, not to wake up anyone in the complex, but they hit hard and Jongin looked down, taking the stabbing words without any complaints.

 

Na In kept her eyes up, sighing again as she thought the other had taken the message better this time. She was about to wish him good night and leave but as she straightened up the man stepped closer, tilting his head up to stare at her again with the eyes Na In was too familiar with. The eyes he gave her when they both knew everything was over.

 

He looked up at her with these eyes and she froze, looking up at him and feeling her insides melt again. He stared down at her, bangs down on his forehead and Na In suddenly felt the urge to move them away from his eyes to have a better look at the orbs she used to lose herself into.

 

One of Jongin’s hands unconsciously reached to place a strand of her hair behind her ear and she didn’t bulge, even tilting her head when his hand moved to caress her cheek as if leaning into his touch.

 

_ Oh, how she had missed his touch. _

 

‘’Why do your eyes tell me the complete opposite of your words, Na In ah..?’’ He whispered, tentatively running his thumb over her bottom lip but she moved her head away before he cold reach them. She closed her eyes it took her all of her courage to step away, this time out of Jongin’s reach.

 

‘’Good night, Jongin.’’ She simply answered, slipping out of his reach again and walking inside her apartment before he could do anything. He heard the faint sound of the lock and he sighed, leaning and resting his forehead against the door. At this point, he just wanted to grab her, hold onto her and kiss her. He wanted to tell her over and over again that it was alright, that it was okay to try for a second chance, for a second try. He wanted to whisper her sweet nothings like he used to do, bring her out and be the reason why she would smile.

 

Soon, hopefully, all of this would be what he’d truly do.

 

***

 

Much to Na In’s unpleasantness, it had become a habit for Jongin to join her son in his playing and, each two days, he was there, never late nor early, and Hyung In gladly invited him every time. Every time the smaller boy would drag Jongin to Na In once they were done, a few words were exchanged. Once a week, Jongin would convince, with the help of Hyung In, to bring them to a restaurant and then bring the mother and son back home. Every time for the past few weeks Jongin tried to get Na In back, but every time she slipped away, locking herself behind her apartment’s door just like she locked the way to her heart.

 

It wasn’t only with him, Jongin noticed, that she was acting cold like this. During his days of checking on her, if he could call it this way, Jongin would notice how she would reject every man going to her way. This gave him hope since he came to notice he was the only one she dared to look at in the eyes. This was, to him, the one hint that kept him going.

 

They, once again, arrived in front of Na In’s apartment door after their 4th encounter. Hyung In, as usual, tiptoed to hug Jongin and the man leaned down a bit, patting the boy’s head and wishing him goodnight. The smaller boy gave him a wide smile, surprisingly leaning and pecking Jongin’s cheek.

 

‘’Goodnight,  _ appa _ ’’

 

With that, Hyung In waved at the two and disappeared inside their apartment, leaving there a frowning Na In and a smiling Jongin.

 

The woman stayed there, completely frozen into place. She couldn’t even formulate a thought, too shocked to say a word. Jongin, on the other hand, felt so happy inside and he couldn’t contain his smile. He stepped closer to Na In, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

 

‘’Hyung In seems to like me quite much..’’ Jongin whispered, stepping closer, not to purposely placing himself so Na In wouldn’t slip away again. He wouldn’t let her this time anyways. The woman looked away and sighed, again avoiding to look directly in Jongin’s eyes.

 

‘’It was a mistake of him, I’m sorry it gave you any ideas, I’ll make sure he doesn’t say it again, I-’’

 

She sensed Jongin moving closer again and she stopped talking, having no other choice but to look at him to make sure he wouldn’t lean too close. The events of two weeks ago were replaying again and she didn’t want him to get too close to kiss her again. Something inside her told her she might not be able to stay back this time.

 

Jongin noticed the sudden disturbance and took the opportunity to step even closer, trying to catch Na In’s eyes but she looked away again and he frowned. ‘’Please stop acting like this… I know you still feel what you used to feel toward me. I see it in your eyes…’’ He whispered, two of his fingers reach to tilt up Na In’s chin, lifting her head up so their eyes could meet, though she pushed his hand away and shook her head.

 

‘’Jongin you don’t understand! Our relationship ended 6 years ago an-’’

 

Jongin suddenly grabbed her wrists, pulling her closer to him and pressing Na In’s smaller body against his own. ‘’Stop. Saying. This.’’ He growled, his tone harsher than intended. Na In looked up, close to no fear in her eyes. She simply stared back up, feeling her chest and stomach heat up at the feeling of the other against her.

 

‘’We never officially ended this, remember? It’s not like you wanted to talk to me anyways. You just suddenly started avoiding me! For six years I endured the silence of not knowing what had happened between the two of us, Na In. You left without an explanation, without even a goodbye…’’

 

Jongin’s face contorted in pain and he looked away, his grip not loosening one bit around Na In’s wrists. He had her so close to him again, yet he felt so far away from her still.

 

Na In swallowed thickly, not able to avert her eyes from Jongin’s face. She seemed to notice one single tear on his cheek but Jongin quickly looked away and she wasn’t sure she had seen it anymore. She finally looked away, closing her eyes. ‘’I-I would prefer not to talk about it..’’ She whispered, already thinking too much; the memories were coming back to the surface.

 

_ ‘’He never loved you, Na Dumb~ He’s just playing with you! How could such a handsome guy have his eyes on you anyways, mmh?’’ _

 

Jongin quickly wiped his cheeks and looked over at her again, once again tempted by making her look at him and he did just that, hand reaching for her chin again and this time she let him do so, slowly looking up to meet his eyes again. She kept her eyes glued on his and he slowly moved closer, their noses almost touching.

 

‘’I never stopped loving you, Na In, after all, these years…’’ He whispered near her lips, his warm breath fanning against her skin. She suddenly felt the urge to say it back, but she kept her mouth shut.

 

_ ‘’You can’t be good enough for him. Just look at you! He’s lying, why can’t you see it? Ugh, you’re so blind! So idiot!’’ _

 

Jongin searched in her eyes for something that could tell him she felt the same and he saw something, still hidden, but there. It was there. The sparkles she used to have in her eyes whenever she’d look at him.

 

His grip slowly loosened around her wrists until he let them go, though he didn’t move away, staying close. Her arms fell down to her sides, not even caring as they stung a bit due to Jongin’s strength.

 

‘’What’s on your mind, Na In ah?’’ Jongin whispered again, not moving an inch, his heart pounding loudly in his chest.

 

Na In’s was doing just the same, his mind debating as to either say the truth or lie. She could see it in his eyes, how much he still cared for her, but she didn’t know if she was ready to push everything behind, to get away from these 6 years and to start again. To start believing again after having made the mistake to doubt.

 

_ ‘’Come on, you know that he’s only playing with you, now. Stop hurting yourself already and run away from him.’’ _

 

‘’What’s on my mind..?’’ She asked in a faint whisper, eyes still locked with Jongin. She wouldn’t run, this time, she thought, she had run enough already, and she suddenly felt prepared enough to bare everything. Feeling Jongin against her would definitely worth it.

 

‘’It’s you.’’

 

Jongin didn’t need anything else before leaning down completely, their lips meeting for the first time in 6 years. At first, the kiss was sweet, but when he moved his hands down to her waist, holding onto her lightly at first but then tighter, when she moved her arms to circle Jongin’s neck to pull him closer, the once innocent kiss became deeper and they clung onto each other, lips parting and tongues dancing with each other. It was like the past six years never had happened, like they were kissing just like they did back when they were younger. Though this time, there was a bit more desperation, because this time they knew better.

 

It was like a first love all over again, except this time, they knew love wasn’t all just beautiful.

 

***

 

‘’Na In-ah! Let’s go on this ride!’’

 

‘’Jongin are you crazy? I’m definitely not going into this!’’

 

It only took Jongin a few more ‘convincing’ arguments to get his fiancé, Son Na In, to get in with him in the quite scary ride. It was one huge roller coaster and Na In definitely wasn’t ready for this.

 

‘’Come on, mom! It’s going to be so much fun!’’

 

Hyung In was jumping in happiness next to them, holding both of their hands. Na In looked down at him and smiled, laughing a bit before rolling her eyes. She patted his head and messed his hair a bit, the smaller boy pouting.

 

Jongin watched her with a small smile and his eyes filled with happiness. To see Na In smile and laugh again made his heart pound and skip a beat.

 

It had been two years now since they kissed in the hallway since they officially came back together. There had been up and down, but this time, they knew better how to handle everything and their routines went smoothly together. After a year and a half, he made his move, bringing her to that restaurant he used to bring Hyung In and her to after their meeting in the park and they went to the latter, where he kneeled down and gave her a ring.

 

The idea of going to a fair was from him, both to celebrate their two years together as well as Hyung In’s sixth birthday. The smaller boy was so happy about it, jumping in Jongin’s arms and making Na In laugh with his overly excited reactions.

 

Then here they were, in front of the worse attraction of the fair -or the worse Hyung could get into- and the two boys gave Na In their best aegyos to convince her to follow them in the ride.

 

‘’Alright, alright, but I’m not sitting by myself!’’

 

The three of them went to an agreement and they all made their way to the ride, waiting in line for their turn to arrive. Hyung In had a huge smile glued on his face as he looked at the attraction, feeling incredibly excited. It was the first time he ever went to a fair, and he really couldn’t wait to try this for the first time.

 

Jongin, his smile not leaving his lips, moved behind Na In and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the woman’s head like he used to do.

 

‘’Don’t worry, it’s not so bad. I’ll protect you, jagiya.’’ He said softly and she couldn’t help but smile. She tilted her head up to look at him and they both stared at each other for a while.

 

After what seemed like an eternity, Jongin leaned down to press his lips on Na In’s, giving her a sweet kiss, much to Hyung In’s whining and complain. They both laughed and separated, slowly getting closer to the ride of their life.

 


End file.
